The Asparagus of LaMancha
The Asparagus of LaMancha is the first segment of Sheerluck Holmes and the Golden Ruler. Plot In a strange land that is made entirely out of food and cooking utensils, a lone warrior by the name of Don Quixote (played by Archibald Asparagus) rides up on a hill on his horse, before he is approached by a horde of pea soldiers (played by the French Peas) that start throwing hamburgers at him. One hamburger hits Don's horse, which causes the horse to start rolling down the hill before Don is hit with another hamburger, just as he wakes up screaming, "NOOOOOOO!!!!!", before being met with his assistant and friend, Poncho (played by Mr. Lunt). It turns out that Don was actually having a bad dream and that he and Poncho run their own restaurant called "Cafe La Mancha". When Poncho asks Don if he's been dreaming about losing to him at Checkers again, telling Don not to take it too hard and that he'll give him another shot at the Checker King after work. Don thanks Poncho for his concern before telling him that it was much more than merely a bad dream. Poncho then asks if it was a wretched dream, or insufferable, objectionable, hideous, or malodorous, before Don says, "Poncho, I believe I just had the impossible dream!" Poncho is confused, before saying, "Just by definition, wouldn't that be impossible? Maybe you just had a difficult dream, or perhaps an impossibly strenuous dream", before Don tells Poncho that it was his dream and it was impossible. Don then says, "Dream or no dream, it's time to get to work". Soon, the lunch crowd has gathered at Cafe La Mancha for lunch, with Poncho giving all of the people's orders to Don. Seconds later, Jean-Claude Pea then enters the restaurant telling all of the people that a brand new restaurant is opening. Of course, Don then sarcastically says that they've got competition and that they might as well just close their doors right now, which everyone laughs about after that. Poncho then tells Jean-Claude that many restaurants have come and gone, but they're still standing, but Jean-Claude tells him, "This is not just any restaurant, it is... the Food Factory!", which everyone is surprised to hear. When Don asks Jean-Claude if he said something about the Food Factory, Jean-Claude says that he did and that they are the most popular franchise in the world and that no other restaurant within 50 miles of them can stay open. Don then asks Jean-Claude if he knows where the Food Factory is opening, before Jean-Claude shows everyone that the restaurant is being built across from Cafe La Mancha. Don thinks that the construction alone could stretch out for years, but he is proven wrong when the Food Factory is immediately built within seconds. Of course, Don then thinks that there's no way they could open for business anytime soon, before a sign then lights up that says that the Food Factory is now open. Poncho then asks how long it would take for them to attract a crowd, before a scrolling marquee lights up that reads "Food as big as your head". Don thinks that there's no way their customers would go to the Food Factory, but the customers immediately rush towards the Food Factory, leaving Cafe La Mancha completely empty. Don then realizes that the dream that he had was warning him about the Food Factory coming to threaten his and Poncho's business. Later that night, while everyone is attending the Food Factory, Don is playing Checkers with Poncho while eating chips with spicy salsa, but he is still despondent, wondering what he is going to do, before Poncho tells him, "I'll tell you what you're going to do, you're going to king me!" Don then asks how they can possibly fight this, with Poncho suggesting that they'll restructure, which is to find an area they're not covering and do that. When Don makes another move, Poncho is able to beat him, but Don doesn't care, saying that the Food Factory has food as big as your head before he leaves the table after that. Poncho has a chip with salsa, but it's much too spicy for him, wondering what's in that salsa. Don then says, "I don't know what to do, my friend, I'm afraid everything we've worked for is over". Poncho says that he can't believe his ears, telling Don that they've made it through thick and thin together and that this is no different, but Don tells him that he's wrong before he starts to hop back into the restaurant after that. Soon, Don then goes back to bed after that, before he goes to sleep. This time, Don then has another dream where he is back in the strange land again, but now finds a mirror that shows him a reflection that does not look like his, before more and more mirrors come up to him, showing more strange reflections. The mirrors then close in around Don, while he calls out for help, before he wakes up from his dream once again. Poncho then tells Don that he'll need a whole lot of help to take down the Checker King. When Poncho tells Don that he some great ideas that would turn the place around, Don tells him that he has a much better solution, saying that his first dream told him what was coming, before saying that last night's dream revealed how to combat the Food Factory, saying that in his dream, every time he looked in a mirror, he saw a different reflection which can mean that to succeed, he needs to be different than he is now. Poncho then quips, "Maybe it just means you need to clean the mirrors in your dreams". Don then says that they need to change the look and image of their restaurant to make it different and something more entertaining. Don then says, "Poncho, I've dreamed the impossible theme, and we're going to make it happen!" Poncho reluctantly decides to go with Don's plan anyway. The first time, they change their restaurant into an Asian-style restaurant called "Donny Ha-Ha", but it doesn't work, before also changing it to a silly sounding restaurant called "La Koo Koo Mancha", which also does not work, along with a coffee shop called "Joppa Java", and a Chuck E. Cheese-style pizza restaurant called Cheese E. Rodent, but these ideas all fail. Of course, the customers all laugh at the duo's attempts, telling Poncho to quit the restaurant and come work for the Food Factory. When Poncho asks Don if he wants to play Checkers, Don is angry, telling Poncho that they're going to lose it all and all Poncho can think about is Checkers before storming off to his room after that. Don then tells Poncho that he should start looking for another job before entering his room. Poncho then hears the front door open before seeing that the manager of the Food Factory (played by Mr. Nezzer) had come to ask Poncho to work for the Food Factory. Despite this offer, Poncho turns him down, telling him that Don and him have worked together for years, but more importantly, that they're friends and that a friend is always loyal, before showing the Food Factory manager the door. The Food Factory manager then leaves, but not without informing Poncho that if he changes his mind, to let him know. Poncho then approaches Don who is once again eating chips with salsa before telling Poncho to go ahead and go, but Poncho tells him that he's not leaving Cafe La Mancha and that they're going to make it. Don then goes to sleep while Poncho tells him goodnight after that. Soon, Don has another dream in which has gotten onto the hill once again, to see a lone pea soldier. Thinking that he'll have an easy advantage against just one pea soldier, Don then starts to charge towards the pea soldier, who retreats in fear, with Don yelling after him, "Coward! Come back and fight like a... a... pea!" Don continues charging forward on his horse, until he sees something that causes his horse to stop and send Don flying until he crashes to the ground. When Don picks himself up, he sees what looks like a giant windmill monster standing before him (in a nod to the original story of Don Quixote). Don then starts running for his life with the windmill monster still chasing after him, until he wakes up again and falls out of bed. Poncho is glad to see that Don is up, before telling him to hear about his latest idea. Don tells Poncho to hold that thought because he just had a dream that was different from all the others, before saying, "I now know what to do to rescue our cafe!" Poncho then asks if it's a better idea than a Touchdown Turkey (which is a turkey dressed to look like a football). Don then says that he simply needs to attack the Food Factory and vanquish his foe once and for all, with Poncho thinking that Don is kidding. Don then says that it's quest to follow that star, to which Poncho then tells him, "What star? I though we were talking about the Food Factory". Don is now prepared to take on the Food Factory, despite Poncho trying to talk him out of it, telling him that attacking restaurants is against the law. Don then has Poncho go out to the Food Factory, before Poncho then says through a megaphone, "Attention, ladies and gentlemen! I have an announcement! The invincible Don Quixote will, this night, defend the honor of his restaurant, Cafe La Mancha!" Of course, the people tell Poncho to leave Don and to join them at the Food Factory. Because of this, Don then hops out while wearing his makeshift armor and thanks Poncho for what he did, before he approaches the Food Factory and announces pridefully, "I am Don Quixote! And I am calling out the Food Factory to meet me in a battle of honor! The winner shall keep his restaurant, the loser shall leave town forever!" The people are a bit uncertain about Don's decision, before Don asks the Food Factory if they're afraid to cross swords with him, repeating his challenge, before saying that if they don't, he'll be forced to attack. The Food Factory manager tells Don that that's crazy, to which Don replies, "Crazy, am I?!?" before the Food Factory manager tells Don that if he attacks the restaurant he'll be arrested. Don tries to dissuade this by telling the Food Factory manager that any authority they call will no doubt agree with him on that point, before Sheriff Bob (played by Bob the Tomato), who is eating a hamburger, tells Don not to do anything crazy or else he'll have him arrested. Despite this, Don is now prepared to engage the Food Factory in battle, even with Poncho tries to tell him not to do it. Don then briefly envisions the Food Factory as the windmill monster from his dream before he charges forward towards the Food Factory, but unfortunately, his helmet slides over his face, which causes him to trip over his broom, which then catapults him into the side of one of the windmill blades on the restaurant, before he then falls onto the front balcony of the restaurant, before he says, "Have you had enough?!? Surrender or you shall taste my mop!" Because of his actions, Don is arrested by Sheriff Bob, with Don saying, "This cell cannot hold me! I demand satisfaction! Fight me like a man!", before Sheriff Bob tells him to take off his armor and go to bed. Don then says that he demands legal council, before Poncho approaches him, saying, "How about some friendly council?" Don is happy to see that Poncho has come to see him, with Poncho telling him that he brought a few things for him, with Sheriff Bob asking Poncho what he's got in the bag, with Poncho replying, "Just his regular bedtime supplies". The things that Poncho had brought for Don were his 'nighty-night cap', his corn chips, and his extra-spicy salsa, with Sheriff Bob quipping, "That'll give you nightmares". Of course, when Poncho hears these words from Sheriff Bob, he has second thoughts about giving the salsa to Don, something which Don is not happy about as he calls out to Poncho that he thought he was his friend. The next morning, Don then wakes up, before he sees Poncho, Sheriff Bob, and the Food Factory manager in the cell with him. When Poncho asks Don if he had any bad dreams, Don says that he didn't have any dreams at all, before Poncho says that it was the extra-hot salsa, which Don had been eating every night before bed, which was the reason why Don had been having bad dreams. Sheriff Bob doesn't believe that this is the reason, but once he gets a whiff of the salsa, it is much too spicy for him, before he says, "That'd do it alright". When Sheriff Bob asks the Food Factory manager if he wants to press charges, the Food Factory manager tells him that they bent the giant spatula back without any harm. Sheriff Bob then tells Don that he's free to go if he stops eating the spicy-hot salsa, but Don despondently says that Cafe La Mancha is through and that he's got nowhere to go. Of course, Poncho tells him, "Don't be so sure". Because of that, it is then revealed that Cafe La Mancha has been open for breakfast, the one thing that the Food Factory does not cater to. Don then thanks Poncho for standing by him when he needed him the most with Poncho telling him that that's what friends do. Don then asks Poncho for a friendly game of Checkers after work, to which Poncho then accepts his challenge. Characters * Archibald Asparagus (Don Quixote) * Mr. Lunt (Poncho) * Jean-Claude Pea * Mr. Nezzer (Food Factory Manager) * Bob the Tomato (Sheriff Bob) Trivia *It appeared in Sheerluck Holmes and the Golden Ruler, Very Veggie Fun! and You Are a Friend!. Gallery Category:Segments Category:Outsourced productions Category:Episodes aired on TV Category:Sheerluck Holmes and the Golden Ruler Category:Episodes focusing on Archibald Asparagus